Pairing: Xander/Spike
Rating: Light R
Disclaimer: Not mine. Wish they were
The List
by
Magixa
Xander batted prying hands away from his backside as he tried to clean the counters.
“Spike I’m trying clean up here!”
“And?”
“And I don’t have time to ward you off as well. I’ve a shit load of things to do.”
He pointed to the scrap of paper pinned to the fridge under the Snoopy magnet.
Spike pulled away and wandered over to the fridge, eyes squinting as he read the hand written list in silence.
“Clean out the gutters?”
“Yes.”
“Do we even have gutters?”
“Of course we fucking do!”
“Can't you hire someone for that?”
Xander scrubbed the counter viciously and laughed the laugh of someone who was not in the least amused.
“That costs money Spike. Money remember? You going to pay for it?”
Spike didn’t even think about this.
“No.”
“Well then I’m doing it aren’t I?”
Spike watched Xander move around the kitchen as if he was an alien.
“You possessed by some cleaning demon?”
The boy savagely twisted the wet rag in his hands over the sink, squeezing the water out of it like it was blood from a dead animal. He threw Spike a dirty look, and then tossed the cloth down heavily.
“I don’t know. But it sounds good. Maybe I should live with one of those instead. It'd be more useful.”
And with that, he charged passed Spike, making sure he bumped roughly into the vampire on the way.
Spike could not stop gaping as he watched Xander disappear into the bedroom.
What the fuck was that all about? All he wanted was a little bit of a tussle. Since when was that a bad thing?
Waiting a few moments and listening for any signs of life from across the house, Spike eventually moved towards the bedroom and peeked around the doorframe.
He found Xander lying face down on the bed.
Beached in the middle of their huge mattress like a human star fish, it was as if the boy had literally thrown himself on it and could not even muster the energy to arrange himself in a more comfortable position.
“Safe to come in pet?”
There was a pause that worried Spike slightly then Xander rolled over and gave him a defeated look.
“Yeah ok.”
Spike inched over and then crawled slowly up the bed towards his boy. He moved around so he was close but not touching Xander. But, when Xander did not lift his arm in welcome like he usually did, Spike felt his stomach cave.
“You alright love?”
Xander just stared at the ceiling.
Oh, bugger.
This wasn’t going to be good.
“You know what Spike? The other day I was vacuuming and you were watching TV and I had to clean under your feet. And do you know what you did?”
Spike’s mind suddenly went even blanker than usual. He genuinely did not remember doing something bad. In fact, he didn’t remember this incident at all. It wasn’t as if Xander's domestic regime took up residence in his brain all too often.
“What did I do?”
“You lifted your feet and kept watching TV as if I wasn’t there. Like I was room service or something.”
Spike couldn’t really argue with that.
Even though he didn’t remember, it certainly sounded like something he would do.
But then he wasn’t sure when watching TV had become a criminal offense in the “Harris/The Bloody” household.
“I’m sorry,” he offered uselessly, not really sure if this was a “sorry” kind of situation but figured it would never hurt to throw one in anyway.
Turns out it didn’t really matter since Xander carried on as if he hadn’t heard the apology.
“Just at that moment I realised. I realised what we were. What we had become.”
“What?”
Xander turned his head on the pillow and looked straight at Spike.
“We’re my parents.”
Spike wanted to laugh but he didn’t think it would be appreciated. Xander seemed deadly serious about the whole thing. If there was anything Spike had learned that no matter how stupid something might seem to him, if it was important to Xander then it was best just to keep his mouth shut. He had learned the hard way about this for daring to casually suggest that Batman was better than Superman. That was an evening of his life he would never get back.
“Pet don’t be silly...”
“We are. All you needed at that moment was a beer in your hand and it would’ve been the house of my childhood.”
Taking the matter in hand, Spike slid over, lifted Xander’s arm and very deliberately wound it around his own shoulder. He looked up at his love with as much affection as he could.
“Pet, we aren’t your parents. Your parents hated each other.”
“We hate each other.”
“Yeah. But in a nice way.”
A smile appeared and for Spike that was half the battle won.
“Ok so we aren’t like that now. But what about twenty years down the line?”
Spike tried not to draw attention to the fact that Xander clearly imagined himself still with Spike so far into the future.
It was nice to know where the boys head was at though.
“Twenty years from now I’m hoping we will actually have someone to clear our gutters for us.”
“I mean it Spike. I’ve found myself really resenting you lately.”
“You have?”
“Yes.”
“Right. And whilst you were doing all this quiet seething, ever think to actually speak to me about it?”
Xander didn’t answer. Instead, he just looked perplexed. Apparently, this question had thrown him slightly.
“No...I kept it bottled up until I was ready to attack you with tile cleaner...Oh my God! I am actually my mother!”
The human rolled away from Spike and buried his head under the pillow in despair.
Sighing, Spike just pulled him back out and cuddled into him again.
“Pet. You were raised with a bunch of loonies. You weren’t to know you could actually speak to me if you were annoyed.”
The human just shook his head with a shocked expression at his own behaviour.
“It just seemed easier to hate you in secret and then maybe sabotage your blood or something later.”
Even though he was more than a little surprised at this admission, Spike just let it lie. At the end of the day, he really did not want to know what monstrosities he had, unknowingly, been served in the past. He was happy to let Xander and God be the only ones in on that secret.
“Well, poisonous liquids aside, I don’t mind if you want me to help occasionally.”
“Really?”
“Of course. And if you really want me to be agreeable may I make the suggestion of naked oven cleaning?”
Xander practically purred as he arched into Spike.
Ah, that was more like it.
“Naked oven cleaning turns you on?”
“Depends. Are you wearing rubber gloves?”
“Yes.”
“The yellow kind?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Then yes. Naked oven cleaning turns me on.”
Xander chuckled and kissed the vampire's neck.
Spike hooked his leg over Xander’s, effectively pinning him to the bed.
“Uh Spike?” said Xander, lips still on the vampire’s skin. “I still have my list of stuff to do.”
Spike snorted dryly, rolling on top of his troublesome mate.
“Bugger that. I have a list of things to do as well pet.”
“Oh yeah?”
Spike grinned down at Xander, lowering his head to whisper into the other man’s ear.
“Yeah. And you’re right at the top of it.”
The End
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