Pairing: Xander/Spike (eventually)
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Me no own boys. Boys pretty. Joss great. Fire bad.
Spoilers for 'School Hard', Season 2
Summary: Xander starts to have very peculiar dreams about a certain someone, but not in the way you might think...

Big snogs to amejisuto for giving me the bunny on this!

What Dreams May Tell

by
Authoress Nebula

Part One

The gardens were in full bloom at the party. Everything was bright and radiant, so much so that he wanted to capture the moment somehow. Everyone laughing, the sun shining, everything going perfectly. He couldn't begin to imagine how it could get any better.

He side stepped past a few friends, tipped the rim of his hat towards the ladies, then turned and walked straight into someone. He turned to apologize, then blinked as the person continued on, mumbling a quick, “So sorry,” before doing so.

The most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen. The most striking face he'd ever seen. Add to that golden locks that practically begged to have fingers run through them, and that was the image of the person he'd just bumped into. A sweet voice, though all he'd heard was a soft apology. He suddenly realized that this party could get better, and if he wanted it to, he'd have to find the person again. He wanted to talk to the beautiful person very much.

The only thing that stood in his way were six people and the fact that the most attractive person he'd ever met was a man. His father had been right; something was wrong with him. Very, very wrong with him. He was attracted to a man. He quickly turned and walked the other way, wondering what on earth he'd been drinking earlier.

He couldn't resist one final glance back at the young man, however, before he continued on.

Xander gasped and bolted up in bed. What the hell had that been about?! He'd dreamed about being at a party. He'd had similar dreams before. He'd definitely had dreams about his father reminding him about there being something wrong with him. And he could admit to himself that he'd had dreams about wanting other guys. The first dream had been about Jesse, and he hadn't been able to stare his friend in the eye for a week after that one.

But there was something new about this dream. Two somethings, to be precise, and he wasn't sure which one bothered him more. The fact that the man he'd bumped into was supposed to be Buffy's new enemy Spike was one.

Or maybe it was the fact that the party obviously hadn't been held this century.

His party dreams usually consisted of drinking beer from plastic cups, eating pizza, and jamming to the stereo. Not clinking wine glasses while delicately munching on crackers and cheese, with the sounds of a string quartet not too far away.

And how the hell did he have the information to give him a dream like that?! He wasn't a history buff or anything. That was Willow's job. Homework gal and all that.

But the dream had felt so real, like it had really happened. Like the dream was only a reminder or a memory. He could still feel himself bumping into the young man that had looked like Spike.

He shuddered and laid back down, groaning as he glanced at his clock. Two hours until he actually had to get up for school. Joy. He closed his eyes, still wondering about the dream.

He managed to muddle his way through most of the school day without event, until he walked into the entrance hall at the other end of the school. He passed it to reach history, and kids were always there, chatting or snacking down, sometimes even cramming for that quiz they knew was going to happen that day. Kids were there today as usual, but the school janitor and a few volunteers were cleaning up the mess from Parent-Teacher night.

Xander groaned as memories of that night came back. Of being offered to the blonde vampire, only to dream about him two nights later.

In history, the teacher decided they would go over 19th century customs. Xander groaned again. Yet another reminder of his dream. The world was out to get him.

The teacher turned to the board to write dates, and Xander felt something sharp poke into his arm. He flinched and turned to see Willow frowning at him. 'You okay?' she mouthed.

Should he tell her? Knowing Willow, she'd find out eventually. Still, he wanted to not tell her (or anyone else, for that matter) about this for as long as possible. He shook his head and smiled, then brought his hands together and laid his head on them to show that he was sleepy. Willow smothered her giggles behind her hand, before returning her attention to the class.

After what seemed hours later, the bell rang and school was officially out. Xander swung his backpack over his shoulder and told himself not to worry about the dream anymore. It probably wouldn't happen again. And there were other things to worry about anyway: the new evil in town, homework, his dad...he didn't need to add a dream to his list.

But even as he continued home, he couldn't let go of how he'd felt when he'd bumped into the young man in his dreams.

It wasn't until two weeks later that he got his first glimpse of the young man from the party. After having paid for his sketchbook, he turned to leave, only to collide with someone. “I'm so sorry,” he began, then stopped as his brown eyes met with startled blue eyes. Blue eyes he hadn't been able to forget about since the party.

The man began to head for the shop clerk. No! He couldn't let him just walk away again. “We seem to have developed a habit of bumping into each other,” he said, trying to control his nervous stammer. The man stopped, and he smiled. He wasn't going to leave then. At least, not yet. “I should like to at least learn your name, so as I can apologize properly the next time I collide with you.”

The man gave a small smile, then adjusted his glasses nervously. “William. William Atherton.”

He smiled, extending his hand to William. “Alexander Harrington, at your service.”

Xander started awake, glaring at the nearest object after he'd done so. He hated waking up like that. It gave him goosebumps. Not that the dream had helped at all, but still...

With a sigh he rolled onto his back, flinging an arm over his eyes. Now at least he knew that it really was him in the dream. Same first name and everything.

But the man that looked like Spike was called William. Like William the Bloody. Xander whimpered. This was not good.

Part Two

“Are you okay?”

Xander blinked, glancing down at his lunch. “I mean, the surprise at lunch is always enough to make anyone try and disappear into themselves,” Buffy continued with a small smile, “but you’ve been extra disappeary. And we’re kind of worried over here.”

Xander turned his attention to Buffy and Willow, who were giving him concerned looks. “I’ll be fine,” Xander said. “Promise.”

“If there’s something to be fine about, then that means something’s wrong in the first place,” Willow surmised, biting her lower lip.

“Guys, don’t worry about it! I’ll be okay. I swear. Just didn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all,” Xander said, forcing a grin on his face.

Buffy and Willow didn’t look convinced, but sensing Xander wasn’t going to tell them anything, slid the conversation back towards something else.

Xander almost sighed with relief. They were his best buds, sure, but this wasn’t something he was going to share anytime soon. Especially dreams about...him. Those were dreams Xander didn’t want to share with himself.

Realizing they were still giving him worried glances every now and then, Xander decided it was time to go. “I’ll see you two in class,” he mumbled, grabbing his tray and standing.

Buffy and Willow stared in shock as he left, before turning to one another. “He didn’t even eat anything,” Buffy said in a hushed tone.

“Even if he doesn’t like the lunch he’ll still eat it,” Willow agreed. “This is bad, Buffy. This is really bad.”

If Xander had heard them, he would’ve heartily agreed.

Three hours later, after school had finally let out, the gang gathered in the library. Xander took his customary seat across from the girls, wanting to groan when he felt their eyes latch onto him. Those two would not stop staring at him, and it was driving him insane.

Giles was about to start talking when the office phone rang. With a resigned sigh he headed in to answer. Mumbled greetings and responses were given, and soon Giles was closing the door for privacy from young ears.

Young ears that wanted to hear something else, apparently. The minute Giles left, Buffy and Willow exchanged glances, then leaned over the table towards Xander. Xander leaned as far back as he could manage.

“You have five seconds to explain what’s going on, buster,” Willow hissed.

Xander glared at them. “You two seriously need hobbies. Hobbies besides ask Xander really dumb questions.”

“These aren’t dumb questions! We’re worried, Xander. You’re not yourself. We want to help,” Buffy insisted, giving him a concerned look.

“I’m…”

“If you say you’re fine one more time, Alexander Harris, I’m going to reach across this table and slap you. You’ve been weird all day today. You’ve got circles under your eyes from not sleeping, you didn’t eat a bite at lunch, and you keep avoiding me. So no, you are NOT fine, and I want to know what the hell is wrong with my best friend!”

Xander and Buffy stared at Willow, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. “I can swear if I want to,” Willow said, pouting slightly.

Xander sighed. He hadn’t wanted to tell them, but Buffy really was concerned, and Willow had actually sworn because she’d been so desperate to know… “It’s just these dreams I keep having,” he mumbled. “It’s nothing big.”

“No dream is ever ‘not big’. What was it about? Who was in it?”

Xander sighed. “The question you should be asking is WHEN was it, Buff. And I’m guessing the 19th century.”

Both girls exchanged surprised glances, then turned back to Xander. “Anything else?” Willow asked.

Xander sighed again. Of course; they wanted to know everything. He launched into the tale of the party, the first meeting with the mysterious young man, and then the second dream, where he’d found out not only his name, but William’s.

The girls sat back after he’d finished. Xander kept his fingers crossed under the table. He hadn’t told them anything about William being Spike. Surely he’d told them enough to just be satisfied and not ask anything else of him?

Willow frowned, glancing back up at him. “Okay, I could see you being wigged over the sudden obsession with the guy. But there’s gotta be more to this then that. What else was there?”

Of course they’d ask. Xander scowled at the table top. He seriously needed to have a chat with the god that granted luck to those with crossed fingers. “William, uh…”

“Yeah?”

“HekindalookedlikeSpike,” he blurted out.

It took them three seconds to figure out what he’d said, and Xander watched with a grimace as their eyes widened. “William looked like…” Buffy started, her voice raising.

Xander put a warning finger to his lips, another finger pointing towards the still closed door. Buffy took a deep breath, then started again in a lower tone. “He look like Spike? No wonder you were wigged!”

“No, you think?” Xander said, sarcasm in his tone. “Seriously guys, what do I do?”

“Are you sure it was Spike?” Willow asked suddenly.

Xander frowned. “Same blue eyes, same facial structure, same…”

“No, I meant…are you sure that it wasn’t just someone that looked like Spike that your subconscious had created for some odd reason? That it was just an ordinary guy, with no association besides the fact that Spike’s image was fresh in your mind, so that’s what your mind had to work with?”

Xander leaned back, deep in thought. She had a good point. Who was to say it was Spike in the first place? It could be someone else entirely. Someone that just looked like Spike. But wasn’t. For the first time since the dreams had started, Xander relaxed.

Giles came back in then, looking more harried then before. “Is something wrong?” Willow asked him.

When Giles began digging in his pockets for his handkerchief so he could wipe his glasses, they knew it wasn’t good. “I’ve just had a call from the Council of Watchers,” he told them, pursing his lips. “They wanted an update concerning Spike and Drusilla. They have information on the two, more then I do. They said they’d send it as fast as they were able, but until then, I feel you all should know some basic facts about these two.”

Xander gave a small whimper. The universe was out to get him. Was there ever going to be a conversation from now on that didn’t involve the mention of Spike?

“Drusilla was driven mad by another vampire, or so my sources say. She was a seer before she was turned, and she still apparently has the gift to see certain futuristic events.

“Spike got his name from using railroad spikes on his victims. His name before he took the name ‘Spike’ was William the Bloody.”

Xander froze. Had he just said…

“William?” Buffy managed to say in a calm tone.

Giles nodded, giving her a puzzled glance. “Yes, William. Why?”

Buffy shrugged. “No reason. It just sounds sort of…old fashioned.”

“Well, both of these vampires are quite old and, may I add, quite powerful. Drusilla was turned well before Spike, and it was actually she who turned Spike into a vampire. I believe they said the year was 18…” He hurried into the office for, presumably, the answer.

Xander whimpered again.

“1880!” was Giles’ reply from the office. He sounded triumphant as he said, “Yes, I was right. I knew it was a 19th century date of some sort.”

Buffy and Willow both glanced over at him uneasily. Xander merely let his head fall onto the table.

Part Three

Alexander closed the door behind him, a smile on his face. “William,” he sighed, letting his smile grow. He knew he was acting like a love-sick fool, but the look on William’s face…his eyes, so blue…

He headed over to his desk, crumpling up random pieces of paper and throwing them towards the corner. He’d pick them up later. But he still had the image he wanted fresh in his mind now; what better time then the present?

Alexander set the new sketchbook down, reverently running his hands over the leather bindings. He undid the ties holding it closed, then reached for his pencil. Opening the book, he gazed down at the paper for a brief moment, then closed his eyes.

A few images of various things and people came to mind, and he mentally wiped them away. His mind went blank, and he patiently waited for the image he knew would come.

Blue eyes appeared first. Warm, yet showing hesitation, hidden behind gold spectacles. Golden tresses, wavy and full appeared next, followed shortly after by prominent cheekbones. Nose, chin, and then his pink lips appeared, finishing the picture.

Alexander opened his eyes and smiled.

Xander opened his eyes and whimpered. He couldn’t keep waking up like this. He wanted a night where his dreams were full of hot women with lots of curves, not a skinny little guy that resembled a vampiric murderer. Of course, the guy wasn’t bad looking, and his tiny smile had been kinda cute…

He threw his arm over his eyes and groaned. He was doomed.

< --- >

The next two days were similar to the ones before it, filled with quizzes and Giles’ lectures and then the dreams. Alexander had been called to dinner before he could do…well, whatever it was he’d been about to do in the dream, and his parents had, for the most part, ignored him. That was something Xander and Alexander had in common.

After he’d told the girls about that dream, Willow had suggested that maybe Alexander really WAS Xander in a past life. “It’s possible,” she’d concluded, “that the dreams are of you way back when. I mean, we’re on the Hellmouth here. Anything can happen.”

“And usually does,” Buffy had muttered. Neither girls’ words had been reassuring.

Opening the door for Willow, the two stepped inside to see their usually empty table covered in old books. Buffy was leaning against one of the library’s staircases, scowling at the pile. “What’s all this?” Xander asked, gesturing towards the books.

“The Council sent these to Giles. We’re going through them all today,” Buffy said, her eyes never lifting from the stacks.

Xander slowed to a halt, then let his eyes start counting. Ten plus another ten plus three and doubled, no, tripled in amount…he groaned. “All today?” he asked.

“There’s more in the back,” Giles said, coming out of his office. Even Willow made a face at that.

“What exactly are all of these for?” Xander asked again.

“To hopefully find something, anything, on our two new enemies,” Giles told him, nodding towards the chairs. “Take a seat, all of you. We’re going to be here awhile.”

Buffy pouted as she pulled out a chair, Willow and Xander not far behind her. Each took a book, then sat back to peruse the contents.

They were through at least fifteen books when Willow said, “Listen to this: according to these scholars, Drusilla’s choice weapon is thrall.” She frowned. “There really is such a thing as thrall?”

“Shhh!” Buffy shushed, putting a finger to her lips. Leaning forward, she whispered, “Don’t ask Giles about it, please. We’ll be here all night if you do.”

Willow frowned as Xander’s eyes widened. All night research? That SO didn’t sound like fun. “But…”

“No asking! Please, Wills?”

Willow grumbled but nodded. Buffy and Xander breathed huge sighs of relief.

Several minutes passed before another piece of information was found. “It says that Drusilla was in a convent when she died. Apparently, there was a huge massacre of brothers and sisters when she arose. Ugh,” Buffy said, putting the book down and reaching for another. “Aren’t there any happy stories here?”

“I think that kinda went out the window when we were told to look up ‘vampires’,” Xander said dryly, glancing down at his book once more. He sighed and flipped the page, then froze at the words in front of him.

An entire page, devoted to nothing but Spike.

Was first known as William the Bloody. Knew that. Killed two Slayers. Knew that. Sired in 1880. Knew that. Was sired by Drusilla. Knew that. Sired in England. Didn’t know that. Tortured victims with…wait, what? England? That would make him British. Just like William had been in the dreams.

But that doesn’t make Spike the guy from my dreams, Xander argued with himself.

“Did you find anything?”

Xander shook himself to see Giles glancing at him from the doorway to his office. The girls had now turned to look at him as well. “Uh, no,” Xander said, giving a weak laugh. “Sorry. Nothing found.”

“Most of these books are duds,” Buffy said cheerfully, placing her book on the table. “Does that mean we can go home?”

Giles gave her a look. “Once you’ve gone through them all, of course.”

Buffy and Xander groaned in unison. Willow and Giles scowled at them in unison. “Why aren’t you glancing through these?” Buffy demanded.

Willow turned to glance back at Giles. “I was wondering about that. How come no help?”

“I’ve been going through a few of the books in my office,” Giles said, taking his glasses off to polish them. “It’s mostly about the vampires’ human lives, but there may be a few things in those histories that we should know.”

Human lives? There was really a history about Spike’s human life? Suddenly Xander desperately needed to see those books. “Well, can’t we read them?” he asked, trying to sound and look casual. “I mean, more people on the job, the quicker it gets done.”

“That’s quite all right; I’ll keep looking through those, and you three can concentrate on the books you’ve already got.” Giles placed his glasses back on and disappeared into his office once again.

Immediately both girls turned to Xander. “Why were you asking for more books?” Buffy demanded.

“There’s plenty of books out here to go through,” Willow said.

“Are you ill, Xander?”

“What’s so important about their human lives?”

Xander glared at them both. “What do you think?”

It took them a few moments to get it. “Oh,” Buffy said.

“I thought you didn’t want to know,” Willow said softly. “I thought we were doing the avoid-y thing.”

“We ARE doing the avoid-y thing. But I…I gotta know one way or the other, Wills,” Xander admitted. “Otherwise, it’ll drive me insane. I have to know if it’s Spike in my dreams or not.”

Buffy nodded. “Makes sense to me. But how exactly are you gonna get to the books?”

All three teens sat back, thinking the problem over. Suddenly Willow began to smile. “Xander, if you don’t mind waiting another day, I think I know how you can get to those books.”

Part Four

“You ready?”

“I’m ready.”

“You’re gonna have to run really fast…”

“I can do this, Buff. I have to. I gotta know if it’s Spike in my dreams or not!”

Willow hurried up to the pair, panting. “Sorry I’m late. You guys ready?”

“Shhh!” Xander and Buffy chorused, glaring at her. “The library’s right down the hall, Wills, and we’re the only ones left in the building,” Xander hissed. “If he hears us, this is all over!”

Willow rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic. Besides, if this DOES work? You’ll have an hour in there, at least.”

“You’re sure of that though, right?” Xander said, biting his lip. “The last thing I need is for Giles to walk in on me.”

“I know that! And yes, I’m positive. This is going to work.”

“I hope so,” Xander muttered. It had been two days since Willow had cooked up her plan, and Xander’s dreams still hadn’t stopped. So far, Alexander hadn’t done anything else except go back up to his room after eating and ‘socializing’ with the family afterwards. Xander’s life in the present time hadn’t been anything to write home about either.

But today, there’d been a field trip to the beach on the other side of town, one that had lasted all day. The other kids had returned and had headed home, after picking up last minute items from the school. Buffy and Xander, however, had scurried into a bathroom and had hidden in one of the stalls. Willow had stayed behind at the beach, setting the scene just so.

“I even ran through some bushes on my way over,” Willow continued in a hushed tone, showing her scratched arms and face.

Xander blinked. She’d done the required homework and the extra credit yet again. “You didn’t have to do that! You could’ve gotten infected or something,” he sputtered, glancing down at her arms. They were red and very angry looking.

Willow grinned, shaking her head. “I don’t mind. And no, they’re not infected. Besides, I’ve got some anti-bacterial cream in my pocket, just in case.”

That was his Willow: always prepared. “Should it be me in there first?” Buffy asked, peeking around the corner towards the library doors.

Willow frowned, before shaking her head. “No, it’s gotta be me, or else he’ll know something’s up. You ALWAYS try to get me and Xander to safety first.”

“What are you gonna do for battle scars?” Xander asked, turning to Buffy.

“Slayers heal fast, he knows that. I’ll be fine. Just get in there and use your time wisely, okay?” Buffy said, glancing around the corner once more.

Xander’s gaze went from one girl to another. They were doing all of this for him. All because of a dream he’d had, and it had made him upset. They were willing to ruin their afternoon (and their arms) for him. Xander swallowed, suddenly feeling teary-eyed. “Guys?”

Willow and Buffy turned to him, frowning slightly at the look on his face. “Thank you,” he whispered, giving them a watery smile.

Two pairs of arms wrapped around him, and the girls let him rest his chin on their heads. “You’re welcome,” Buffy said softly.

“Let us know what you find out, okay?” Willow said, pulling away to give him a grin. “Especially if there’s OTHER things in those books that had nothing to do with Spike. The juicy details that Giles always hides from ‘young eyes’,” she quoted, imitating Giles’ accent. Buffy and Xander smothered laughter when she continued to pull off imaginary glasses and clean them.

“Nice acting. Keep that straight face; you’re gonna need it,” Buffy said. “Ready?”

Willow nodded. “Ready.”

Glancing down the hallway one last time, Buffy nodded to Willow. Willow slid into the hallway and began to run towards the library doors. Within moments they could hear the doors slam open, along with a startled “Good lord!” from Giles. Then, still sounding surprised, they heard Giles say, “Willow, what on earth is…”

“D-Demon down at…at the beach. Buffy’s still…still down there, I-I think.”

“Where’s Xander?”

Xander could practically see Willow’s eyes start watering. “H-He got hit on the head. I got him home, and then I hurried here. I hope he’s okay, I just…he kept blinking, and what if he’s really hurt, Giles? What if he needs to go to the hospital, and I just left him there, and…”

“Calm down, Willow. I’m sure Xander will be just fine.”

Xander and Buffy exchanged grins. “Good luck,” he whispered.

“You too; you should get some ice on that head of yours. Wouldn’t want that ‘hit’ to do real damage,” she teased, winking at him. Then her smile disappeared as she ran into the hall and down to the library.

The library doors slammed open again, and Xander was sure Giles was having a second heart attack. “Are you all right?” Giles asked.

“Is Xander home?” Buffy asked Willow, ignoring Giles completely.

There was a pause; Xander assumed Willow was nodding. “Yeah, but he didn’t look very good. Do you think I should go back and check on him?”

“Afterwards. We need to take care of this thing and fast. Giles, load up. This thing was seriously bad news. BIG bad news.”

“What exactly WAS this thing?”

“Think giant sea serpent. The kind that could eat people. I was heading towards the bus when I heard Xander scream.”

Xander’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t scream, he yelled, like any other man would do.

“We’d almost gotten packed up when the thing came at us,” Willow said, sniffling. She’d make a hell of an actress, if she could get over her stage fright. “Th-There was no one left but us. Buffy came running, but its tail was heading towards me, but X-Xander…he jumped in and pushed me away from it. Pushed me into some bushes, but he took the hit instead of me.”

Wow, he was a battle hero now. Xander grinned. Okay, he’d forgive them for the screaming part.

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Giles said gently. Then, in a firmer voice, “We’ll need something long distance and sharp.”

“Crossbow?”

“And the spear; it’s in the back corner.”

There was bustling around, a few words Xander couldn’t figure out, and then the doors opened again. Three pairs of feet hurried down the hallway towards the parking lot. The opposite way that Xander was.

Xander waited until he couldn’t hear their steps anymore, then ran towards the library. In past the swinging doors, then hanging a right into the offices. No demon books in sight, so Xander headed to the filing cabinet. The bottom drawer held what he wanted, and Xander quickly pulled the drawer open.

At least, he tried to. His eyes widened as he took in the lock. “Please don’t let him have the key in his pocket,” he moaned. They hadn’t thought of this.

Quickly he glanced around the office, lifting various papers and objects. Reaching up to push a book away from a mug, he blinked when he heard a clinking sound. Sounds that keys would make. He pushed the book again, and the sound was made once more.

He pulled the book down, then opened the cover. Pages of assorted words, and then a small panel. Xander flipped it open, then smiled as he lifted the two keys from their hiding spot. “Nice one Giles,” he murmured.

Setting the book down, he turned once more to the drawer. The first key didn’t work, but the second one slid home. The lock was undone, and the drawer was opened to reveal musty texts. Xander’s smile broadened. Bingo.

He pulled the first one out, quickly flipping through it. Nothing much of interest here. Book two it was then.

Book two held an interesting account of Drusilla’s life. No mention of Spike, but there WAS another vampire’s name he recognized. Xander stared at the word ‘Angelus’, happy and sad to see it there. Happy because Xander had been right: Angel and his past weren't to be taken lightly. He’d been the one to sire Drusilla, and had also driven her mad beforehand.

But Xander felt awful at the same time. Awful because he knew he couldn’t tell Buffy this: it would kill her. He wondered briefly if Giles knew about this, and hadn’t told Buffy for the same reason.

The third book was boring until the fifth chapter. Simply titled ‘William the Bloody’, it held over ten pages of information on the character.

Xander closed his eyes. This was it. Everything he needed to know was here. The answers to his dreams were in this chapter, and the thought made his stomach flutter. He wasn’t sure what he wanted for an answer anymore.

Slowly he opened his eyes and began to read.

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